I Want Your Elements

by Czarina

If you were Earth, I’d leave my orbit and crash right into you. I will endure the blistering heat of your protective layers, break your ground, and ram myself deep into your innermost core, a place no being has ever penetrated. I will collide against you and you will want to throw me out and this will cause massive earthquakes that can bury me alive and tear me apart, but I will hold on to something to survive your fury. I will stay, even in the light of your aftershocks and destruction; I will be still, even when the volcanoes you have in your heart erupt all at the same time, even when I’m trembling in fear at your anger, even when your world is aflame. Still, I will kiss the bitter soil of your Earth and lie on your shaky ground.

You are the strong wind that sweeps me off my feet and the tornado that sucks me in. I spin madly in the twister that is your mind, and you drop me in a splintered heap on strange lands, with no one to rescue my fractured heart and mend my broken pride. You are the hurricane that rages through my world and splits it into pieces, until I can no longer rebuild its scattered parts in the aftermath of your destruction. Still, I will hold my ground. Sweep me up, hit me hard, take me to the eye of your storm; I welcome the wrath of your winds. And I will stay. I will wait for your landfall, for the calm that follows a tornado’s rage.

You are the water that keeps me still, the element that extinguishes the flame of curses even before they escape my lips. You are the little rivers that fill my eyes and run down my cheeks; the sea that drowns and calms my heart at the same time. You came into my life with the impact of a towering tsunami, and I was swept away by your barreling waves into a fantasy world infused with madness, a union of Heaven’s wonderland and Hade’s lair. I was submerged in your storm surge, choking, gasping for air, hands grasping nothing but the trickles of your element. But I will go with your flow; I will move in symphony with the force of your heart’s strong current.

I thrive in the scathing heat of your lethal fire; tongues of your flame lick and sear my skin, but I get high from the smell of my own burning flesh tinged with the scent of your rage. You consume me and reduce me into ashes of nothingness; your scorching words make me bleed, but these wounds fuel my will to stay. I don’t want a colorless and tasteless love; I don’t want rainbows and roses. I want the storm and the thorns; I want to face the nightmare of our worst monsters rather than dance in the masquerade of blissful dreams. I want your violence and your vengeance; I want your fire to reach its crescendo and burn me alive.

We are a phoenix. Our wings were set in flames even before we took flight, but it is from the burning, the destruction, the death, and the ashes of our hearts that a new beginning may spring into life.

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